February 21, 1992

Dear 27-year-old me,

I can’t sleep so I would like to tell you a few things. As you know, today is your due date – your first child! I know you are not actually expecting this baby to be born today but honestly, you should have already packed your bag for the hospital by now. As it stands, your brother will be at your house while you’re in labor on the phone with him telling him where to find everything. So at least finish your list before your doctor appointment today and leave it in a conspicuous place, okay? Here are some other things you need to know:

1. You are terrified of the delivery, but you should be more concerned with being at home with a newborn. You don’t believe me, but it’s true! You know you only babysat maybe 2 times in your life and only changed a diaper once. You are completely clueless! But you’ll get through it.
2. I shouldn’t spoil the surprise, but you’re having a boy! He will have curly, blond hair and blue eyes; he’s gorgeous. I’m proud of you for not finding out the gender – most people seem to find out these days. And I really shouldn’t tell you this, but… you’re going to have FOUR sons. I am not making this up. The other three will all have brown eyes, they’re all terrific. And you should keep on letting the gender be a surprise like you did with the first two because you’ll regret caving to the pressure with the last two.
3. Nursing – I know you really want this to work out, but it will be okay. With the second child, you’ll learn that your body takes longer to get over the pain than the books say, so you and the other three boys will be nursing champions! This great thing called the World Wide Web will make all the difference next time, I promise.
4. This little guy will sleep through the night at 6 weeks, so hang in there. Be grateful for it because it won’t work that way with the next three babies! And don’t try so hard to get him to nap in the daytime. Just relax and play with him when he’s awake. Some babies don’t need as much sleep and like I said, he’s sleeping through the night so early!
5. When he’s only about a month old, you’ll get a bombshell of a letter from your dad telling you he’s marrying the woman he cheated on your mother with. It’ll rock your world a bit, and that’s okay. It’s okay to cry, too. I still do sometimes all these years later.
6. It is okay if you don’t do preschool. I know you think you might not have more kids, or he needs socialization, but I know better now. He won’t be damaged, but he really doesn’t need it. And by the way, you’re going to homeschool. I am not making this up, either!
7. He’s not grown yet, but at 15 years old, I’m pretty darn proud to be his Mom. He’s an Eagle Scout, even! Most importantly, he believes in Jesus as His Savior. Oh, yeah, that church you visited 2 weeks ago? We still go there. Yes, you’ll go back, even though the day you visited was the day their beloved pastor announced he was leaving to go to another church and people were crying all over the place.

So, I think that’s all I wanted to tell you for now. There’s tons of stuff that will happen during these 15 years… joy and heartache jumbled together. It will all be worth it. I’m not done yet, but I just know it will be worth it.

With love,
42 year-old you

1)  Yesterday’s trip to the appliance parts store ended without all the parts needed.  The rest were supposed to be shipped from Lubbock yesterday, and they said I should get them today but I’m not expecting it.  Not having any kind of tracking information makes me jittery. How did I ever live without online tracking?

2)  Rich Mullins’ album, “A Liturgy, A Legacy, and a Ragamuffin Band” is quite possibly the greatest album ever recorded.  Last night after coming out of Costco we saw the most incredible moon, just a sliver (my 4yo said it looked like a fingernail, lol).  The sight of that moon prompted me to pull out that CD and play, “The Color Green”… “And the moon is a sliver of silver, like a shaving that fell on the floor of a Carpenter’s shop…”  Rich was a true poet.

3) I have a den meeting tomorrow and no idea what to do yet.

4) I think I’m getting overwhelmed.

5) At least the weather is terrific!

The end.

UPDATE:  Appliance Parts Depot rocks!  I was going to call the Lubbock location to see if they shipped my parts or not, then I noticed they had a live chat so I gave it a whirl.  It worked, they were able to find a tracking number and my parts are out for delivery TODAY!  I feel better.

Pretty, isn’t it?  That’s the washer and there’s a dryer to match.  My dryer has been clunking something awful.  It has been squealing for over a year already.  We are in the middle of a Total Money Makeover, though, so instead of just buying a new set, I’ll go get some parts for the old one with the help of the Samurai Appliance Repair Man. I already took apart the washer today to try to fix the temperature selector.  But I got stuck and my husband had to finish it for me.  I promised him I would leave the dryer alone until he gets back home from a meeting today, at least until I get caught up on laundry, because we won’t have parts until tomorrow at the earliest.  It’s really hard for me to be patient and not rip it apart right now. 

Does that stuff inside a glow stick hurt your kid if he gets it on his skin?  And how do you get it out of the carpet? 

I’m not having much luck with google right now so kid is in tub.  I know that stuff stops glowing eventually but I’m not sure how the carpet will look when that happens.  Right now it’s a lovely spot of neon green that shows up nicely when the light is off. 

The other day I picked up the soundtrack to the movie “Cars”. The boys and I are really enjoying it, but it makes me long for a road trip. I like to drive and I’m thinking I might like to travel the old Route 66 (what’s left of it, anyway). Lots of tunes cranked up loud, rolling down the highway.

Then reality hits. My kids are horrible in the car – we barely survive the trips around town. Maybe we don’t do it enough so they aren’t used to it but the big trip we took to Florida in 2004 almost did me in. I remember one particular “pull off to the side of the road and have a nervous breakdown” moment. Now at the time, we also had an almost one year old who didn’t care for sitting much, but he wasn’t the only one discontented. He’s grown into an extremely loud 4yo. We have a portable DVD player, and I’m not opposed to watching some movies in the car – but we didn’t have those when I was a kid and we somehow survived OUR trips to FL and CO. I think I’ll start compiling some ideas for things to do in the car – I mean, you can only play the alphabet game so many times, right? We did actually see license plates from all 50 states on the FL trip in ’04 – I think we saw the Hawaii plate either in Alabama or the FL panhandle. Hmmm, Google, here I come!

One reason I bought the Cars CD was due to an ongoing battle in the car between listening to U2 or “Silly Songs with Larry” that’s been going on the past couple of weeks (this is my life with kids from teen to preschool). I think I might just need to burn a CD with everyone’s favorites and make it our “road tunes” mix. No more asking for track 3 (or 5 or 8), or a different CD, or anything else. And the driver has final say in what we listen to – which sometimes ends up being silence!

Get your kicks on Route 66 – in my family, it’s probably the 4yo kicking the back of someone’s seat!

Something to be thankful for today - that a clogged toilet comes unclogged easily with only the plunger and doesn’t need the auger.  I am VERY thankful.  Reminds me of my husband’s story when he was at Home Depot purchasing that auger.  When he was checking out, the clerk said, “Have a good night!”.  My husband, motioning to the auger, replied, “I think it’s too late for that,” which caused the police officer in line behind him to burst into laughter.  I don’t even know how to use the auger, and my Mom is coming over for a visit - SO thankful the plunger worked!